GMAT Sample Essays 4 - Cumquat Cafe Prompt
The following is taken from a sample essay prompt (Analytical Writing Assignment Section) of the GMAT:
You would often see the following instructions after reading the essay prompt:
Written below are some sample essays that would help you in your preparation:
How to Analyse this Essay Prompt
Assumption:
Advertisement on the radio station led to the business increase.
Alternate Explanation:
While advertisement on the radio could be one of the factors that led to the increase in business, there's no evidence that it was the only reason. The Café might have invested in other forms of advertisement or might have increased their field offices.
Strength of Conclusion:
The statement is logically unsound and is based upon in-concrete assumptions.
Sample Essay #1
In an attempt to sell radio advertising time, this ad claims that radio advertising will make businesses more profitable. The evidence cited is a ten percent increase in business that the Cumquat Cafe has experienced in the year during which it advertised on the local radio station. This argument is unconvincing because two questionable assumptions must be made for the stated evidence to support the author’s conclusion.
The first assumption is that radio advertising alone has caused the increase in business at the Cumquat Cafe. This assumption is questionable because it overlooks a number of other factors that might have contributed to the Cumquat’s success. For example, the Cumquat might have changed owners or chefs; it might have launched a coupon ad campaign in the local print media; or it might have changed or updated the menu.
Yet another possibility is that a local competitor went out of business. These are just a few of the factors that could help explain the Cumquat’s growth. Because the author fails to eliminate these possibilities, the assumption in question need not be accepted.
Even if it is granted that radio advertising is responsible for the Cumquat’s success, another assumption must be made before we can conclude that radio advertising will result in increased profits for businesses in general. We must also assume that what is true of the Cumquat will likewise be true of most other businesses. But there are all kinds of important differences between cafes and other businesses that could affect how radio audiences react to their advertising. We cannot safely assume that because a small restaurant has benefited from radio advertising, any and all local businesses will similarly benefit.
In conclusion, it would be imprudent for a business to invest in radio advertising solely on the basis of the evidence presented. To strengthen the conclusion, it must be established that radio advertising was the principal cause of increased business at the Cumquat. Once this is shown, it must be determined that the business in question is sufficiently like the Cumquat, and so can expect similar returns from investment in radio ad time.
Sample Essay #2
In this passage, the author states, that the increased turnover of the Cumquat Cafe was the consequence of advertising on the local radio station in the passed year. Although there might be some ground in this claim, the author could have put more evidence, that all other factors, like advertising campaign in the previous year or other advertising methods and competitors’ strategies in this year didn’t influence the positive financial outcome.
First of all, it would be more convincing, if the author has clearly stressed out, that besides radio advertising, there were no other attempts to expand its business in this year. If, for example, the cafe has used several promotional activities in parallel, like flyers on the streets, advertising in the local newspaper, reasonable business-lunches for nearby office community or setting up a playground, attracting new audience with children, then it is wrong to connect the result with radio advertising only. The author should give more information about the year’s advertising compaign to convince the readers, that it was the radio, that was the most effective measure.
Second, the author states, that this year’s sales grew up in comparison to the sales in the previous year due to radio advertising. In order to evaluate this argument, it is necessary to know, what promotion strategy did the Cumquat Cafe has before. If it comes out, that there was no advertising at all, then the presented result proves more the effectiveness of the advertisements in general, rather than the radio advertising in particular.
Third, the presented evidence would be convincing, if there were no other changes in business of the cafe over two year, as well as there were no changes in the neighborhood. It means, that if other cafes on this street closed, or the Cumquat Cafe presented the new menu, appreciated by more clients, or it simply raised prices, or managed to get cheaper rent - then it becomes obvious, that the improved year’s figures have nothing to do with radio advertising. If this is the case, these two facts, that there were radio advertising and that the sales went up, show correlation, but not a reason-consequence connection.
To summarize the above mentioned, hence normally advertising helps to improve business results and advertising on radio is not worse than any other sort of advertising, in this particular case the author should present more proofs, that it was radio ads, that caused the mentioned effect, and not the other factors. Also, some more information about this year business and last year strategy would also be helpful in order to convince the readers.
Sample Essay #3
In the passage above the ad claims that radio advertising will make a business more profitable. However on a deeper analysis, it becomes evident that certain important and relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the assumption that an increase by 10 percent in the business is a result of the radio advertisement alone. This assumption is a stretch as the 10 percent increase in business can be attributed to other factors such as change in ownership, better promotional activities, and change in menu or closing down of a competitor. For example, if Cumquat Cafe has been distributing discount coupons for a discount on the next bill, the Cafe will see an increase in the inflow of customers as they would like to utilize the coupon. It is also possible that the strongest competitor of the Cafe had to close down its shop and the customer base of the competitor now has shifted to the Cumquat Cafe. The argument would have been much clearer if the author stated explicitly the factors that contributed towards the success of the Cumquat Cafe.
The author claims that radio advertising will make a business more profitable by referring to an increase in business of the Cumquat Cafe after it began advertising on the local radio station. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as an increase in business does not guarantee an increase in profitability. For example, if the Cumquat Cafe’s business was worth $50000 last year and the profit margin was 10 percent then the profit earned was $5000. However, this year the business increased to $55000, but because of additional initiatives to increase sales the profit margin reduced to 8 percent. This will bring down the profits to $4400, reducing it by $600. To make this argument more valid the author should mention the benefits of radio advertising to the profitability of the business.
The author also wrongly concludes that radio advertising will prove advantageous for all business as it helped in increasing the Cumquat Cafe’s business by 10 percent. The flaw in this assumption is that the author assumes that what holds true in case of Cumquat Cafe will also be true for all other business irrespective of their industry and product offerings. Even if the Cumquat Cafe’s success is attributed to radio advertising, it cannot be assumed that it will for all business. For example, the public may respond differently to radio advertisements when it comes to cafes and other business such as garments, electronics, automobiles etc. It cannot be assumed that all business will benefit from radio advertising in the same way a cafe did.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentions all the relevant factors that contributed towards the increase in business of the Cumquat Cafe. Also, the author should provide data to strengthen his claim that an increase in business results in an increase in profitability. The author also needs to justify that radio advertising will have the same effect on other business as the Cumquat Cafe, without which his claim that radio advertising will make business successful is unsubstantiated. In order to assess the merit of a particular situation it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
If you want us to grade your essay, leave a comment below. If you would like an experienced tutor to give you detailed comments, you can check out this tutor.
The following appeared as part of a campaign to sell advertising time on a local radio station to local businesses:
“The Cumquat Café began advertising on our local radio station this year and was delighted to see its business increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make your business more profitable.”
You would often see the following instructions after reading the essay prompt:
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.No copyright infringement is intended.
Written below are some sample essays that would help you in your preparation:
How to Analyse this Essay Prompt
Assumption:
Advertisement on the radio station led to the business increase.
Alternate Explanation:
While advertisement on the radio could be one of the factors that led to the increase in business, there's no evidence that it was the only reason. The Café might have invested in other forms of advertisement or might have increased their field offices.
Strength of Conclusion:
The statement is logically unsound and is based upon in-concrete assumptions.
Sample Essay #1
In an attempt to sell radio advertising time, this ad claims that radio advertising will make businesses more profitable. The evidence cited is a ten percent increase in business that the Cumquat Cafe has experienced in the year during which it advertised on the local radio station. This argument is unconvincing because two questionable assumptions must be made for the stated evidence to support the author’s conclusion.
The first assumption is that radio advertising alone has caused the increase in business at the Cumquat Cafe. This assumption is questionable because it overlooks a number of other factors that might have contributed to the Cumquat’s success. For example, the Cumquat might have changed owners or chefs; it might have launched a coupon ad campaign in the local print media; or it might have changed or updated the menu.
Yet another possibility is that a local competitor went out of business. These are just a few of the factors that could help explain the Cumquat’s growth. Because the author fails to eliminate these possibilities, the assumption in question need not be accepted.
Even if it is granted that radio advertising is responsible for the Cumquat’s success, another assumption must be made before we can conclude that radio advertising will result in increased profits for businesses in general. We must also assume that what is true of the Cumquat will likewise be true of most other businesses. But there are all kinds of important differences between cafes and other businesses that could affect how radio audiences react to their advertising. We cannot safely assume that because a small restaurant has benefited from radio advertising, any and all local businesses will similarly benefit.
In conclusion, it would be imprudent for a business to invest in radio advertising solely on the basis of the evidence presented. To strengthen the conclusion, it must be established that radio advertising was the principal cause of increased business at the Cumquat. Once this is shown, it must be determined that the business in question is sufficiently like the Cumquat, and so can expect similar returns from investment in radio ad time.
Sample Essay #2
In this passage, the author states, that the increased turnover of the Cumquat Cafe was the consequence of advertising on the local radio station in the passed year. Although there might be some ground in this claim, the author could have put more evidence, that all other factors, like advertising campaign in the previous year or other advertising methods and competitors’ strategies in this year didn’t influence the positive financial outcome.
First of all, it would be more convincing, if the author has clearly stressed out, that besides radio advertising, there were no other attempts to expand its business in this year. If, for example, the cafe has used several promotional activities in parallel, like flyers on the streets, advertising in the local newspaper, reasonable business-lunches for nearby office community or setting up a playground, attracting new audience with children, then it is wrong to connect the result with radio advertising only. The author should give more information about the year’s advertising compaign to convince the readers, that it was the radio, that was the most effective measure.
Second, the author states, that this year’s sales grew up in comparison to the sales in the previous year due to radio advertising. In order to evaluate this argument, it is necessary to know, what promotion strategy did the Cumquat Cafe has before. If it comes out, that there was no advertising at all, then the presented result proves more the effectiveness of the advertisements in general, rather than the radio advertising in particular.
Third, the presented evidence would be convincing, if there were no other changes in business of the cafe over two year, as well as there were no changes in the neighborhood. It means, that if other cafes on this street closed, or the Cumquat Cafe presented the new menu, appreciated by more clients, or it simply raised prices, or managed to get cheaper rent - then it becomes obvious, that the improved year’s figures have nothing to do with radio advertising. If this is the case, these two facts, that there were radio advertising and that the sales went up, show correlation, but not a reason-consequence connection.
To summarize the above mentioned, hence normally advertising helps to improve business results and advertising on radio is not worse than any other sort of advertising, in this particular case the author should present more proofs, that it was radio ads, that caused the mentioned effect, and not the other factors. Also, some more information about this year business and last year strategy would also be helpful in order to convince the readers.
Sample Essay #3
In the passage above the ad claims that radio advertising will make a business more profitable. However on a deeper analysis, it becomes evident that certain important and relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the assumption that an increase by 10 percent in the business is a result of the radio advertisement alone. This assumption is a stretch as the 10 percent increase in business can be attributed to other factors such as change in ownership, better promotional activities, and change in menu or closing down of a competitor. For example, if Cumquat Cafe has been distributing discount coupons for a discount on the next bill, the Cafe will see an increase in the inflow of customers as they would like to utilize the coupon. It is also possible that the strongest competitor of the Cafe had to close down its shop and the customer base of the competitor now has shifted to the Cumquat Cafe. The argument would have been much clearer if the author stated explicitly the factors that contributed towards the success of the Cumquat Cafe.
The author claims that radio advertising will make a business more profitable by referring to an increase in business of the Cumquat Cafe after it began advertising on the local radio station. This is again a weak and unsupported claim as an increase in business does not guarantee an increase in profitability. For example, if the Cumquat Cafe’s business was worth $50000 last year and the profit margin was 10 percent then the profit earned was $5000. However, this year the business increased to $55000, but because of additional initiatives to increase sales the profit margin reduced to 8 percent. This will bring down the profits to $4400, reducing it by $600. To make this argument more valid the author should mention the benefits of radio advertising to the profitability of the business.
The author also wrongly concludes that radio advertising will prove advantageous for all business as it helped in increasing the Cumquat Cafe’s business by 10 percent. The flaw in this assumption is that the author assumes that what holds true in case of Cumquat Cafe will also be true for all other business irrespective of their industry and product offerings. Even if the Cumquat Cafe’s success is attributed to radio advertising, it cannot be assumed that it will for all business. For example, the public may respond differently to radio advertisements when it comes to cafes and other business such as garments, electronics, automobiles etc. It cannot be assumed that all business will benefit from radio advertising in the same way a cafe did.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author mentions all the relevant factors that contributed towards the increase in business of the Cumquat Cafe. Also, the author should provide data to strengthen his claim that an increase in business results in an increase in profitability. The author also needs to justify that radio advertising will have the same effect on other business as the Cumquat Cafe, without which his claim that radio advertising will make business successful is unsubstantiated. In order to assess the merit of a particular situation it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors. Without this information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
If you want us to grade your essay, leave a comment below. If you would like an experienced tutor to give you detailed comments, you can check out this tutor.
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